She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize