it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
