And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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