He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
