she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
