We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
