i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
