Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
