Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
