So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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