You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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