Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
