you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
