fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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