hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
