i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
