I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Text me some of your sweat
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
