please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize