oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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