If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
