I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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