But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
