Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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