At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
