We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
