Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
