If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
