I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
