so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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