like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
