Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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