3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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