I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
