I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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