butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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