Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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