She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
