i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize