if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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