i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
