Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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