i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
