FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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