Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
