No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
