They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
