i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
