Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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