My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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