He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
