It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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