If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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