I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
