So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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