And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
