OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
