This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
