Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
