Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
