chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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