you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
