i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
