At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize