Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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